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Tuesday 30 September 2014

The news in brief 30th September 2014:



The news in brief:

Magazine indulges in bit of straight-up bulling

Reinforcing media’s narrow definition of beauty is NOT okay

Indistinct grey smudge probably not a ghost

Well-advertised rule change about to take affect

Schadenfreude is apparently news now

Supermarket says the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet

General public don’t quite understand this whole economics thing…

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

There shouldn’t need to be a law against ‘sharing intimate images of an ex-partner on the Internet in order to get back at them.’ Isn’t this covered by ‘don’t be a cunt?’    
  
Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Young people are unsurprisingly NOT pro cold blooded murder

Big business not so hot at counting

Study states the obvious: sugary drinks are bad for kid’s teeth

Stop the press: mad suggestion that GPs should be open when you’re not at work

Driest September of 2014

READ YOUR COCKING TERMS AND CONDITIONS

Minor customer service failure reported like it’s the end of the fucking world

Stop the press: men like looking at boobs

Nurse forgets how to person (allegedly)

Have decades of monster movies taught us nothing?! You don’t dig up Dracula

Parents wish their kids would hurry up and fuck off…

Newspaper stretches definition of identical to breaking point

Pro tip: Chelsea Clinton is NOT the Duchess of Cambridge

Nudes in brief: Miley Cyrus

And finally: pizza-flavoured cocktails are a thing now

Reading the news so you don’t have to…


Monday 29 September 2014

The news in brief 29th September 2014



The news in brief:

Lionel Richie tells it like it is

Article states the obvious: university probably isn’t for everyone

1 in 6 UK residents are bigoted fuck-bags

MPs start making election promises

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Hong Kong starting to look a bit hairy

Tabloid newspaper acts like gigantic arse

Mayor of London remains a legend!

Big business in trouble for making money

Mad suggestion that benefits should be spent of essentials

Minor customer service failure masquerades as news

Fans left ‘underwhelmed’ by TV show

Apparently copy and pasting people’s tweets counts as journalism now…

Definition of ‘beloved’ stretched to breaking point

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Newsflash: bread isn’t bad for you this week

New series of X-Factor has started… time to wheel out another results fixing scandal

Political correctness gone mad!    

Study states the obvious: fast food is bad for you

Did deep-frying a Mars Bar ever seem like a good idea?!

Man learns the hard way about being a dick on the Internet

Nudes in brief: Lucy Watson

And finally: vagina cookies cause outrage in classroom (yeah, you read that right…)

Reading the news so you don’t have to…
   

Sunday 28 September 2014

The news in brief 28th September 2014



The news in brief:

Woman wears dress

Woman wears clothes appropriate to the weather

Actress has audacity to be comfortable in public

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Couple goes outside together

Woman updates social media

Woman has bottom

Wild speculation

Man pissed at media’s endless wild speculation

Couple’s relationship issues are somehow our business now

Wardrobe malfunction

Stop the press: singer has nipples

Pregnant woman wears clothes

Woman wears bikini

Telly star conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Sideboob!   

Actor still has muscles

Man updates social media

Shock: friends go to a place together

Woman changes her hair style

Outrage: woman goes outside  

Newspaper doesn’t like woman’s clothes

Woman fails to conform to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Reading the news so you don’t have to…



 



   

The news in brief 27th September 2014



The news in brief:

“Free Hugs!” Unless you’ve spent the last few years living under a rock, or spend all of your time on websites with words like ‘bang,’ ‘co-ed’ or ‘amateur’ in their URLs, you’ve probably seen or heard someone on a street corner offering free hugs. Sometimes they have tee-shirts that say ‘free hugs’ or placards that offer hugs, for free, so it’s pretty clear what they are offering: free hugs.

If you’re anything like The news in brief, you’ve probably thought to yourself ‘who are these presumably jobless hippies and what unwashed, tofu-fuelled agenda are they pushing?’

But, instead of making wild, unfounded speculation about other sentient human beings (like some other, more successful news outlets I could mention,) we thought we’d do some actual journalism. So we walked up to one of them, note pad in hand and asked some questions…

First of all – they were a mix of ages, genders and socio-economical statuses. Free hugs are not just for the great unwashed and hair-cut dodgers. All the people I spoke to were intelligent, articulate and had a clear mission objective in mind.  

Secondly, they asked not to be celebrated – which is why there are no photographs or links back to their Facebook page. They don’t want glory or kudos or a massive following. They want what they do to grow organically; people choosing to join in because it’s something they believe in and not just because everyone else was doing it.  

So what is it they do? Well, they give out free hug. Pretty sure we covered that already?! But why do they do it? Well that’s an easy question with a very straight forward answer: they do it to make the world a slightly better place.

It might sound peculiar, but there is a very simple, but undeniable logic to their actions:

We live in an increasingly isolated world. ATMs, self-service checkouts, automated barriers at the metro, automated phone lines, internet shopping… we can go days without any meaningful interaction with another human being and we are increasingly (but these are The news in brief’s words, not theirs) a race of self-absorbed, entitled horsefuckers who have forgotten how to person.  

But something as simple as a hug can make a world of difference: the laughter and the bright smiles of the surprised and often bemused recipients - the teasing, the gentle nudging of friends, the delighted children and the endless cheer of the people doling out these tiny injections of goodwill.

Just for a moment or two, the free hugs make people feel better. And maybe that’s worthless in the grand scheme of things, but The news in brief begs to differ. Because maybe those people go onto speak nicely to some put-upon customer service guy, busting his ass in a thankless call centre job. Maybe they go on to do an act of kindness to somebody else – like a charitable donation or a helping hand. They make the human race a little bit less unbearable and that is priceless.

They are brave people too: not only were they making complete buffoons of themselves in the name of goodwill – in the hour I sat and watched there were a group of lads leering at one of the girls and making smart-arsed remarks about what they would like to take from her for free. Whilst The news in brief tries to steer clear of scaremongering, terrible things do happen to people (just not as often as that tabloids would have you believe) but she was unwavering and carried on doling out free hugs to anyone who consented.

Just thought we’d share something wonderful and positive for a change…

Friday 26 September 2014

The news in brief 26th September 2014

The news in brief extra:

Sometimes, just sometimes,  The news in brief doesn't have to do any work to make the news ridiculous:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2770621/Couple-singing-Peppa-Pig-theme-tune-toddler-daughter-thrown-bus-passenger-accused-racist.html

Check source.  Consume enormous pinch of salt.

Reading the news so you don’t have to...

Thursday 25 September 2014

The news in brief 25th September 2014



The news in brief:

When you have 65 million people living in slums, is it really a wise idea to spend 74 million dollars sending a camera to Mars?  Asking for a friend.  

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Wednesday 24 September 2014

The news in brief 24th September 2014



The news in brief:

Breaking news: plastic is malleable

Some people have more money than sense

#FirstWorldProblem

Product placement still isn’t news

German committee advocates keeping it in the family

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Medieval morality wanted to terminate little girl for the crime of being different

Luckily, love doesn’t recognise borders…

Britain officially a happier place

Pro tip: women are in fact people

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

No, seriously, sitting on a thin plastic thing will totally bend it

Energy saving device is pretty fucking cool

Whole world pretty fucking hairy right now…

Turns out the whole third boob thing was probably just a hoax

Study states the obvious: fruit and vegetables are GOOD for you

Attention the Great British Public: breastfeeding is neither exhibitionism, indecent exposure, attention-seeking or the same thing as having a shit. If everyone who disagrees with the above could go self destruct right about now, that’d be just swell

Nudes in brief: Angelique Morgan (oh yeah, we like boobs now don’t we…)

And finally: Owls are shit hot at hide and seek

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Tuesday 23 September 2014

The news in brief 23rd September 2014



The news in brief:

Accidental swastika

Minor inconvenience reported as human rights atrocity

Actual human rights atrocities barely score a mention…

Google Maps 1, Daily Mail: 0

28 days is probably long enough to move a car 30 feet…

Surprise cannabis

Turns out the CIA has been working with Skynet since 1983

100 orgasms a day ‘not as good as it sounds’

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Study states the obvious: fruit is good for you

Product placement continues to be mistaken for news

Pro tip: Spiders are not paedophiles

Imagine a black so black it destroys your mind…

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Medieval morality hasn’t quite worked out the women are people too

Contrail probably not a UFO

Nudes in brief: Beyonce   

And finally: Essex County Council write the best letter of all time. Of. All. Time.

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Monday 22 September 2014

The news in brief 22nd September 2014


The news in brief:

Not too sure what an ‘extragalactic astronomer’ has to do with a Martian probe

Newsreader goes big AND goes home

Spectacular breakup

Clearly Australians are not as bothered by the word ‘fuck’ as the English

Pro tip: ‘journalists’ are not the same thing as ‘terrorists’

Medieval justice system claims another life

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Attack of the giant spiders!

Woman has seen Total Recall one too many times
    
Hermione Granger tells it like it is

Driver has more money than sense

Turns out maths is hard

Mad suggestion that the parents might just be to blame

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Newspaper has strong feelings about breastfeeding

Mind you, 3 is a bit old, like…

Health and fucking safety

Common sense scores a rare victory over bureaucracy

College handles gender politics badly

Students strike back!

Great British Bake-Off viewers inexplicably offended by gentlest, tamest, most British show on television…

Newspaper enjoys some cyberbullying

Nudes in brief: racy music video is racy

And finally: terrifying cyborg (and love) conquers all
  
Reading the news so you don’t have to…



Sunday 21 September 2014

The news in brief 21st September 2014



The news in brief:

Wardrobe malfunction

Man uses public transport

Celebrity caught not smiling 100% of the time

Pop star not all that happy with his partner’s nude pictures being all over the Internet

Model models

Woman wears bikini

Model wears clothes appropriate for the weather

Paparazzi intrudes on family holiday

Woman has boobs

Woman caught parenting in public

Wild speculation about actor’s love life

Man’s sexuality inexplicably remains newsworthy

Outrage: couple eats sweets FROM THE SAME BAG!

Man sells house

Scandal: photographer catches woman SHOPPING!

Family drama is somehow our business

Woman wears dress

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

News website doesn’t like other people’s baby name choices

News outlet indulges in a bit of cyberbullying   

Nudes in brief: Alicia Keys

Woman updates social media

And finally: what kind of arsehole takes a photograph of a 9 year-old child looking sad after her parents break up and sells it to a newspaper…?   

Reading the news so you don’t have to…






Saturday 20 September 2014

The news in brief 20th September 2014



The news in brief:

I’ve had the day off. I haven’t even so much as looked a newspaper.

Read this:


Not reading the news so you have to…

Friday 19 September 2014

The news in brief 19th September 2014:



The news in brief:

Scotland and England agree to give it another go

England promises to help out around the house a bit more

Scotland promises not to nag about England still smoking

England and Scotland presumably have great make-up sex

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Medieval justice system probably hasn’t seen Footloose

Man’s sexuality is still somehow news

We’re still not convinced that the Mc10:35 actually exists

Apparently democracy is a hard concept to grasp (if you don’t get your own way)

People act like cunts on the Internet

Seriously people – iOS does not waterproof your phone, nor does it let you charge it up in the microwave…  
It seems that love knows no limits

Miracle girl still functions!

White Christian fundamentalist beheads victim – news doesn’t focus on *his* colour or religion though…

So let me get this straight… the wholemeal bread, ham and salad sandwich I take to work isn’t a healthy lunch, but chicken fucking nuggets are?!

Nudes in brief: Thom Evans

 Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Study states the obvious: exercise is good for you

And finally: scientists confuses the plot for I, robot with research (wait, didn’t we already have this…?!)  

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Wednesday 17 September 2014

The news in brief 17th September 2014



The news in brief:

In all fairness, he was being a bit of a knob

Toy clearly not swearing

Questionable name choices

Attention-seeking-hyper-bitch is probably right, but she doesn’t have to be a twat about it

Minor customer service failure reported as news

Customer probably expected a grovelling written apology, someone sacked and a million dollars in compensation…

Yet another ‘ghost’ caught on CCTV

Date stamp shows 2009 mind you – has it been a slow news day?

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Science is pretty fucking awesome

Referendum reaches climax

Either way it goes, half of Scotland is going to be pretty fucking unbearable tomorrow

Man wins at road rage

Giant spiders will kill us all!  

Using your smartwatch whilst driving is pretty fucking stupid

Presenter’s heart clearly isn’t in it

Study states the obvious: too much coffee is bad for you

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Midwife forgets how to person

Economy a bit less shit

Nudes in brief: Isis King

Pro tip: product placement still isn’t news

Health and fucking safety

Have-a-go-hero: 1, ran-away-villain: 0

And finally: Chimpanzees are arseholes too

Reading the news so you don’t have to…





  

Tuesday 16 September 2014

The news in brief 16th September 2014



The news in brief:

Man learns the hard way that the Metro inspectors aren’t fucking about

Pro tip: shouting so the other person can’t be heard doesn’t mean you’re winning the argument

Story states the obvious: fruit is good for you

Man’s sexuality is neither interesting nor newsworthy

Survey suggests 50% of Scotland is going to be pissed off either way

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Three-eyed cow!

Man’s humanity to goldfish both reassuring and heart-warming

Tech reviewer hasn’t actually seen Star Wars

Watch is pretty fucking sexy, but product placement isn’t actually news

Fuckfaced, megacunt-douchecanoes do horrible things to cat   

Social media suggest free-speech is a Good Thing

Think-tank suggests we still need to be wrapped in a few more layers of cotton wool

The motherfucking COOKIE MONSTER was on motherfucking NEWSNIGHT!  

Maybe it’s because violins aren’t cool…

Fried chicken probably not psychic  

Doctor forgets how to person

Big Business behaves in a cunt-like fashion

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Cheating teen has the Worst. Day. Ever.

Twitter is a harsh and unforgiving mistress

Nudes in brief: some random sunbathing chick

Weather continues to become increasing autumnal

And finally: Columbia rubbish at designing uniforms… 

Reading the news so you don’t have to… 



Normally we don't include primary sources, ('cos you know, the irony is you actually need to read the news in order to get all the gags) but this happened and this needs to be shared with everyone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgaLnYbNuRg



   

Monday 15 September 2014

The news in brief 15th September 2014



The news in brief:

Look, we’re not ignoring the whole ISIS-beheading thing; it’s just we’re a satirical news blog and we’re in it for the laughs. There is nothing funny what-so-ever about people being murdered in cold blood. The news in brief struggles to rationalise a sentient being decapitating another as calmly-as-you-please, whilst still considering themselves the good guys.

Suffices to say we are saddened by the news and we wish/hope/pray for a peaceful and prompt resolution

Reading the news so you don’t have to…   

Sunday 14 September 2014

The news in brief 14th September 2014



The news in brief celebrity special:

Stop the press: family buys their children snacks!

Parents caught parenting in the street

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Woman wears bikini

Outrage: photographer catches consenting couple KISSING!

Not sure why church being near a prison is newsworthy

Wild speculation: is woman pregnant? Or is she just resting her hand on her stomach?

Woman wears dress

Sideboob

Co-workers leave work at the same time!

Woman wears jacket

Paparazzi don’t know who woman is

Woman wears beachwear – at the beach!

Celebrity caught doing normal stuff in comfy clothes

Cleavage!

Woman changes her hair style

Scandal: couple goes outside together   

Family tragedy is somehow our business

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Mother carries child

Nudes in brief: Gabi Grecko

And finally: ‘large prosthetic bottom’

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Saturday 13 September 2014

The news in brief 13th September 2014



The news in brief:

Look, it’s been a really rough week for everyone; murders, ongoing attempted genocides, wars, ceasefires broken, nations debating weather or not they should break apart, teachers seducing children, public trials, schools over-reacting to canvas shoes, and to top it all we’ve had the anniversary of September 11th which is still a raw wound for so, so many people…
   
So instead of dissecting the news and reducing complex stories ad absurdum; then having to find new and fun ways to swear, perhaps we should all just put our feet up, put the kettle on and enjoy a random, nine-foot tall, mega-wang having statue of Satan that randomly appeared in a park in Vancouver…


That’s better.

Reading the news so you don’t have you…    

Friday 12 September 2014

The news in brief 12th September 2014



The news in brief:

Verdict upsets everyone

Man’s inhumanity to dogs continues apace

Terrible situation brings out the best in people

You know, poor customer service doesn’t actually deserve a tip

Chancellor doesn’t know how Twitter works

Scottish Independence starting to bore everyone

Celebrity a little bit generous

Schadenfreude is apparently news now

Space is fucking awesome

Medieval justice system continues to treat women like shit

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Airline confuses boxer for bad guy from Star Trek II

Apple uploads U2 album to iphones without user’s permission – complaints expected to last until Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Parents forget how to person

Man caught not working 24 hours a day

Sunshine will kill us all   

Scaremongering: “Ebola could theoretically mutate and become airborne”  

Weather still unseasonably autumnal

The news in brief isn’t quite sure how you can use schools and hospitals as human shields ‘by mistake?!’

Little boy with Iron Man prosthetic is coolest kid on earth!

Except maybe the kid with the Wolverine hand….

Nudes in brief: Miley Cyrus

And finally: dancing bear!

Reading the news so you don’t have to…  

Thursday 11 September 2014

The news in brief 11th September 2014



The news in brief:

Media still obsessed with new telephone

Girl fakes a pretty epic holiday

Terrifying caterpillar will kill us all

Expensive house is really expensive

Gigantic solar storm probably won’t kill us all

Baking show still inexplicably popular

Loch Ness Monster migrates to England ahead of referendum

Study suggests o-zone layer is feeling a bit better

Businesses shamelessly try to cash in on the deaths of thousands of innocent people

Supermarket hires sniper

People who refuse to try something comment on that something like the assholes they are

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Royal Bank of Scotland starts eyeing up a new pad in London

Apparently Google is a fucking awesome place to work

Inquest states the obvious

Marriage vows apparently don’t include ‘not going to Mars forever…’

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Turns out mocking people with self-esteem issues might be a Very Bad Idea

Women wear hats!

Research suggests that lesbians have better sex than straight women

Crazy dictator backs Scottish Independence

At £4.00 a pop you can keep you fucking baked beans

Nudes in brief: Jasmin Wallia

Today’s big news is the Oscar Pistorious verdict and there’s nothing funny about that

Reading the news so you don’t have to…

Wednesday 10 September 2014

Tuesday 9 September 2014

The news in brief 8th and 9th September 2014



The news in brief:

Sorry for the lack of The news in brief yesterday – it was the Editor’s birthday and I’d been at work all day.

Recently married couple of child baring age expecting baby

813,199 other babies expected in 2014: no-one gives a shit

New iphone promises working battery

Man well enough to go home

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

The news in brief blames the parents

After 72 years of bullshit, couple finally tie the knot

Tech giant releases utterly pointless gadget  

Chocolate teapot proves everybody wrong

Pro tip: ‘Cease’ means ‘stop’ from the Latin cessare meaning ‘to yield.’ ‘Fire’ means ‘Fire’ from the English for fucking shooting each other.

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

Corrupt vicar undermines the sanctity of marriage

Little boys dive on sofa

Why is this news: 10-year-old books to get new dust jackets   

Survey suggests YES vote ahead by 1%

Survey suggests NO vote ahead by 1%

The news in brief suggests these surveys don’t really tell us much

Scotland already dividing up Great Britain’s CDs

Steak is good for you this week! (Eat as much as you can before it starts killing us again)

Economy a bit less shit

So you want to keep the Queen as well?! Not sure you quite get how this Independence thing works…

To be fair… chips are pretty important

Nudes in brief: Millie Mackintosh

‘Pervert ghost ruins marriage’… say what now?!

And finally: Manscaping is apparently a thing now

Reading the news so you don’t have to…   


  




Monday 8 September 2014

Sunday 7 September 2014

The news in brief extra



The news in brief:

For just over a year now, I’ve been pink-foaming at the mouth every night for your amusement, and you know what, I’ve never asked for anything in return. Not a damned thing.

Night after night I pour my precious, precious anger, moral outrage, bile, venom and outright contempt for the mainstream media into a word document; add some juicy swearwords; filter it through eight gallons of freshly squeezed sarcasm and upload it to the Internet just for you.

All for you.

Because I love you.

And I think it’s high time I asked for a little something back. A dear friend of mine is doing something for a good cause and all I ask is that you click this little link:
https://www.justgiving.com/Cherie-Mobberley and give what you think a week’s subscription to The news in brief is worth.

If you do, please leave the hashtag #tNiB on her Just Giving page so if you dirty shribs manage a decent showing I can tottle it up and let you know.  

Thank you.

The news in brief 7th September 2014








The news in brief celebrity special :

Media briefly remembers that the North East exists

Mo Farah officially better at running than Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Hulk, Spiderman, Banana Man and a Dalek

After 10 long years, celebrity dance show starts scraping the bottom of the barrel for contestants

Apparently being a sports star’s mum makes you a celebrity now

The news in brief remains unsure exactly how a ballerina is better at judging ballroom dancing than an actual ballroom dancer

Woman wears bikini IN THE SWIMMING POOL!

Couple who met at work are still dating

Muscular man wears tight shirt

Woman walks dog  

Woman has legs

Woman wears dress

Paparazzi intrudes on family day out

Man caught carrying his child in public

Woman caught wearing underwear UNDER her outerwear

Woman conforms to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman wears hat

Outrage: woman dresses appropriately for the weather
    
Woman has the audacity to wear a tracksuit and no make-up on a long haul flight

Woman fails to conform to media’s narrow definition of beauty

Woman eats junk food TWICE whilst on holiday

Paparazzi drones are a thing now

Shock: woman has the cheek to re-wear the same dress

The nudes in brief: sideboob! 

And finally: media doesn’t like man’s suit

Reading the news so you don’t have to…
     

Saturday 6 September 2014

The news in brief 6th September 2014

The news in brief:

Recently, LEGO took some flack in the news for it's relatively new LEGO Friends range. It seems some people objected to the pink and pastel colours, the more Barbie-doll like minifigures and the more leisure-oriented playsets. Take a look at this little madam:

I mean, just look at her with her wavy hair and Alice-bands. In a pinky-purple box. Who does she think she is?! And just look at those butterflies! And the dot over the 'i' is a love love-heart!

It's like any second now she going to start booting down people's front doors and telling their little girls that they can't be doctors or lawyers or CEOs or adventurers or world leaders.

At least that's how it might appear if you applied absolutely no critical thought what-so-ever.

First of all the LEGO Friends run about half-a-dozen small-to-medium sized enterprises: a cafĂ©, hairdressers, an ice-cream bar and god knows what else. They can all afford cars and don't seem to be reliant on any dirty testicle-owning men to fund their fairly extravagant life styles. God forbid that little girls grow up to be independently wealthy, sports-car-owning proprietors of their own small businesses.       

Secondly, one of the LEGO friends is a scientist, with a laboratory and a mother-fucking robot. If I had a little girl and she grew up to be a robot-inventing, lab-coat-wearing, diploma-having scientist I'd be pretty pleased with my fearsome, ninja-like parenting skills.

Thirdly, let's take another look at our friend here. I know it's hard to see past the hearts and the butterflies and the little plastic bikini top, but if you look really closely you can just about make out that she's riding a god-damned jet-ski. Jet-skis are awesome. And you know who else has a jet-ski? Batman. Batman has a fucking jet-ski! And if my hypothetical little girl grew up to be an extreme sports star / Batman, I'd be one proud dad.

The fallacy here is that feminine is mutually exclusive with feminist. And no. No it's fucking not.

Feminism is about freedom of choice. The freedom to be whatever you want to be, regardless of weather or not your reproductive parts are internal organs. If a little girl wants to be a princess instead of a space ranger, and wants to play with dolls rather than transformers then that is fine. Just so long as it is her choice.

And before anyone gets too worried that tradition LEGO doesn't represent women, let's check out this water-sports doing superstar:


 

 And this motorbike riding, wicked-flip pulling bank robber:



And this fire-fighter:


And this arctic explorer:




Of this elf warrior:





Or this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles villain:



The great thing about LEGO is that it is fuelled almost entirely by imagination. A little girl (or boy) can make a representation of themselves in a space suit or business wear, or police uniform or pretty dress and insert themselves into the Justice League or the Avengers or Hogwarts or the police of the fire brigade or the Space Police or anything they can damn well imagine, even if that includes lounging by the pool with friends and baking cupcakes.

But hey - why do any research and apply any thought when you can just wheel out a barrow full of sensational headlines to make parents angry at a beloved toy manufacture. 'cos you know - that sells papers.

Reading the news, so you don't have to...   




Friday 5 September 2014

The news in brief 5th September 2014



The news in brief:

Study states the obvious: people with more money can afford more stuff

Tiny chip shop opens when it damned well feels like it

Man pays parking ticket

Medieval morality ruins another life

Pro tip: women are people too

Kung-Fu grandpa doles out some street justice

Joan Collins in fact still alive #oops

Counterfeit phone chargers will kill us all!

Man’s inhumanity to man continues apace

Just putting it out there: if you don’t like a cartoon, you could just not let your kids watch it…

Less than 0.003% of population want Pepper Pig banned. Why is this news exactly?!

Soy products will kill us all!

Asteroid probably won’t kill us all

Religion’s bodycount continues to mount

MPs agree that taking money from people who have no money is probably a Bad Idea

Charity tries asking terrorists nicely

Ceasefire agreed in Ukraine

Be sure to check your glove compartment for illegal immigrant

Nudes in brief: Kim Kardashian  

Newsflash: everybody poops

People will complain about fucking anything

Painful realisation that warfare is neither glamorous nor fun

And finally: horses can’t fly

Reading the news so you don’t have to…